Las Vegas (Mainland) Vrs. Hawaii....

Geez!  Where do I begin?  Well, I was doing some fun "Google" stuff when I searched the following...."Pros and Cons of Moving to Hawaii from Las Vegas".  We've been pondering hard, as a family and due to several unfortunate events, to moving back home to Hawaii.  After much thought going back and forth with pros and cons, we still got nothing.  No decisions have been made. We have no clear idea of what is right and wrong. We, for lack of better words, are a "Hot Mess" in the making lol! Ummm...I still am but needed to get some thoughts out.  Isn't that what blogging is about?  LOL!!

So, getting back to my Google search of "Pros and Cons of Moving to Hawaii from Las Vegas", it was interesting how there was SO much point of views, positive and negative.  Some people with opinions were born and raised in Hawaii, some were military and there to "try", some moved for 5 plus years and left, some are living there now.  Some opinions were offensive, as a true blooded Hawaiian, to me because people throw the "Hawaiian way" into everything when it's a fact that there is too much influence from all around the world.  It's not realistic really.  Anywho...it made me think hard.

I am minority here on the Mainland.  It was hard to swallow when I first came.  Being "accepted" in Hawaii because it was home to me was easy.  Having to prove yourself and dealing with people automatically judging you because you are not blond or light skin, was hard I'm not going to lie. Having to correct someone who wrongly labeled you another nationality, was and still is irritating.  BUT....moving, although unfortunate events took place, was a great learning experience.  If you never experience ANYTHING other than what you know growing up, you have not yet lived.  It's safe to assume you know about living elsewhere but you don't know ONE thing unless you experienced it first hand.  I am glad that God blessed us this learning experience.  It makes me appreciate WHO I am, WHAT I know, WHAT I believe in, WHERE I came from and WHO I will always be.  I am altered in a positive way, but will stay true to myself.

The opinions given from those people aforementioned, made me proud and sad at the same time.  PROUD because my Home is beautiful.  We have beautiful cultures.  We have wonderful food.  Our beaches are amazing.  Hiking is gorgeous.  Hidden beauty is EVERYWHERE.  There is similar places elsewhere BUT there is only one Hawaii.  We are culturally kind and filled with an Aloha Spirit that can be learned but will come natural if you were brought up in it. 

The opinions that made me sad were when they, the person who visited Hawaii for 2 weeks, felt like the minority as a white person.  They were called F'ing Haole on several occasions.  They were threatened by "Hawaiians" who didn't like them in the area that they were in.  They were discriminated against because they were different.  I know the feeling and it is not pleasant.  Now that I am put in their shoes, being brown and in the Mainland, I will never discriminate nor make anyone feel unwelcome in my Home (Hawaii).  NOT that I ever did but I will make sure I never do that ever.  It sucks!  It's unacceptable.  It's sad.

Where am I going with this?  Really...I'm not sure.  Their opinions leave me pondering more.  What are the pros and cons of living here in Las Vegas and WHY move?  What are the pros and cons in Hawaii and WHY move there?  I have no clue and am still looking for that final answer.  In the meantime, I'm in prayer mode.  Taking in what I can.

Reminders....

People! Let's remind ourselves shall we?

1) cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. Preferably in your shoulder as your hand will be contaminated with your mouth germs.

2) Turn away while coughing or sneezing.

3) don't dig your nose and then continue to use your hands without washing or sanitizing.

4) Thank you is simple. Work at it.

5) don't cut in line.

6) don't interrupt others.

7) excuse me is nice.

9) please don't dig your butt Infront of others.

10) be ethical.

11) learn tact, especially if you are a leader or manager.

12) eye contact is great.

13) avoiding doesn't make the problem go away.

14) be mindful.

15) repeat number one.

I don't get it....

I understand that a persons perception is their reality.  I get it.  But....what if your intentions is twisted into something TOTALLY opposite of what you meant?  At what point does it become the person on the "offense" fault for taking this personal?  Please tell me because I am clearly getting read the wrong way and it's frustrating.

As it is....

The native, me, is restless!  I hate not knowing what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it and when.  Having no plan is like failing already.  I have a responsibility and I feel like I am not upholding that responsibility when I have NO CLUE on what is going to happen.  It's not even a crossroad but a 6 way intersection light! 

Giving Thanks....

Through my struggles, I have had many people who were willing and able to assist me and I greatly appreciate them.  I may not be able to recognize all but just know that I truly love you and am blessed to have you in my life!

My HA Crew LAS...No words can express how appreciative I am of all your assistance.  From Management Randy, Susan, Yanni to our awesome coworkers like Joy, Brad, Tiffany, Herls, Genesis, Roy, Rena, JT, Char, Moani, Lucky and everyone else.  My life would be so difficult MORE so if you didn't allow me that extra time to do what I needed to do.  I know that I cannot show you my gratitude by way of money, but I pray for you everyday that you may be blessed IN EVERY WAY because of your willingness to help me.  I love you truly and am always so happy to come to work, when I can.  Thank you for making me smile, allowing me to be mental and crazy and most of all for your patience in my ever so "exciting" life.

My Cosmo crew is amazing.  I love you Marci for being so crazy and being one of the most approachable managers ever.  I miss you Mark A. and wish you were still there to greet me in the morning after your drama filled night.  Thank you Josef for all that you do.  Words cannot express enough how grateful I am to have such patience bosses.  You are all amazing and I hope that you can appreciate my work and dedication.  Alfonso is the bomb - thank you for being so understanding.  Carlo, you too.  I am always happy to see your smile.  Terran, you stud, thank you!!

My family - I love you.  I am so happy and grateful for you all.  I am so blessed.  I am not perfect, please forgive my for sins and grouchiness. Thank you for accepting me for me.  I love you.  You absolutely complete me and make me smile. I love you Lorrin, Taimane, Tainoa, Tale'a and Lorrin.  You are my joy and I am so happy to see you everyday.

THANK YOU JESUS for giving me the opportunity to give thanks for my breath of life.  I love you.

The Aloha Spirit......

The Aloha Spirit is a well known reference to the attitude of friendly acceptance for which the Hawaiian Islands are so famous. However, it also refers to a powerful way to resolve any problem, accomplish any goal, and also to achieve any state of mind or body that you desire.
In the Hawaiian language, aloha stands for much more than hello or goodbye or love. Its deeper meaning is the joyful (oha) sharing (alo) of life energy (ha) in the present (alo)
As you share this energy you become attuned to the Divine Power that the Hawaiians call mana. And the loving use of this incredible Power is the secret for attaining true health, happiness, prosperity and success.
The way to tune into this Power and have it work for you is so simple that you might be tempted to pass it off as being too easy to be true. Please don't let yourself be fooled by appearances.
This is the most powerful technique in the world, and although it is extremely simple it may not prove easy, because you must remember to do it and you have to do it a lot. It is a secret which has been given to humanity over and over again, and here it is once more in another form. The secret is this:

Bless everyone and everything that represents what you want!

That's all there is to it. Anything that simple, however, does need some explanation.
To bless something means to give recognition or emphasis to a positive quality, characteristic or condition, with the intent that what is recognized or emphasized will increase, endure or come into being.
Blessing is effective in changing your life or getting what you want for three reasons: First of all, the positive focus of your mind stirs up the positive, creative force of the Power of the Universe. Secondly, it moves your own energy outward, allowing more of the Power to come through you. Thirdly, when you bless for the benefit of others instead of directly for yourself, you tend to bypass any subconscious fears about what you want for yourself, and also the very focus on the blessing acts to increase the same good in your life. What is so beautiful about this process is that the blessing you do for others helps them as well as you.
Blessing may be done with imagery or touch but the most usual and easy way to do it is with words. The main kinds of verbal blessing are:
Admiration - This is the giving of compliments or praise to something good that you notice. E.g., What a nice sunset; I like that dress; you're so much fun.
Affirmation - This is a specific statement of blessing for increase or endurance. E.g., I bless the beauty of this tree; blessed be the health of your body.
Appreciation - This is an expression of gratitude that something good exists or has happened. E.g., Thank you, God, for helping me; I give thanks to the rain for nourishing the land.
Anticipation - This is blessing for the future. E.g., We're going to have a great picnic; I bless your increased income; Thank you for my perfect mate; I wish you a happy journey; May the wind be always at your back.
In order to gain the most benefit from blessing, you will have to give up on the one thing that negates it: cursing. This doesn't mean swearing or saying bad words. It refers to the opposite of blessing, namely criticizing instead of admiring; doubting instead of affirming; blaming instead of appreciating; and worrying instead of anticipating with trust. Whenever any of these are done they tend to cancel out some of the effects of blessing. So the more you curse the harder it will be and the longer it will take to get the good from a blessing. On the other hand, the more you bless the less harm any cursing will do.
Here, then, are some ideas for blessing various needs and desires:
Health - Bless healthy people, animals, and even plants; everything which is well made or well constructed; and everything that expresses abundant energy.
Happiness - Bless all that is good, or the good that is in all people and all things; all the signs of happiness that you see, hear or feel in people or animals; and all potentials for happiness that you notice around you.
Prosperity - Bless all the signs of prosperity in your environment, including everything that money helped to make or do; all the money that you have in any form; and all the money that circulates in the world.
Success - Bless all signs of achievement and completion (such as buildings, bridges, and sports events); all arrivals at destinations (of ships, planes, trains, cars and people); all signs of forward movement or persistence; and all signs of enjoyment or fun.
Confidence - Bless all signs of confidence in people and animals; all signs of strength in people, animals and objects (including steel and concrete); all signs of stability (like mountains and tall trees); and all signs of purposeful power (including big machines, power lines).
Love and Friendship - Bless all signs of caring and nurturing, compassion and support; all harmonious relationships in nature and architecture; everything that is connected to or gently touching something else; all signs of cooperation, as in games or work; and all signs of laughter and fun.
Inner Peace - Bless all signs of quietness, calmness, tranquility, and serenity (such as quiet water or still air); all distant views (horizons, stars, the moon); all signs of beauty of sight, sound or touch; clear colors and shapes; the details of natural or made objects.
Spiritual Growth - Bless all signs of growth, development and change in Nature; the transitions of dawn and twilight; the movement of sun,moon, planets and stars; the flight of birds in the sky; and the movement of wind and sea.

www.hawaiian.net

Conflicted...

It's morning and a lot is on my mind. I am hoping for some guidance today from the man above. I have some sorting out to do but I just don't know what to sort first. There is clearly some issues but I think those will always be there. What to do?

God please look upon us this day. Guide and protect our families. Guide our walk so that we can do what is necessary based on your plan for us. Thank you for your many blessings. We are grateful and we know that all these things have happened because of you.

Big fat fail....

The intent was not what ended up happening. It's very unfortunate when the ultimate goal gets lost. Let's just come together, focus, take our head out of our asses and move forward. Got it? Head does not belong in ass. The brain is on top of the heart and most def above the buns. Think first, love and embrace second. Ass is an option but not recommended. Come on people.

Confused and Clarity....HHCA....

"Hawaiian Homes Commission Act
The legal basis for the establishment of the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands (DHHL) is the Hawaiian Homes Commission Act, 1920, as amended (HHCA). Passed by Congress and signed into law by President Warren Harding on July 9, 1921 (chapter 42, 42 Stat. 108), the HHCA provides for the rehabilitation of the native Hawaiian people through a government-sponsored homesteading program. Native Hawaiians are defined as individuals having at least 50 percent Hawaiian blood.

Pursuant to provisions of the HHCA, the Department provides direct benefits to native Hawaiians in the form of 99-year homestead leases at an annual rental of $1. In 1990, the Legislature authorized the Department to extend leases for an aggregate term not to exceed 199 years (Act 305, Session Laws of Hawaii 1990; section 208, HHCA). Homestead leases are for residential, agricultural, or pastoral purposes. Aquacultural leases are also authorized, but none have been awarded to date. The intent of the homesteading program is to provide for economic self-sufficiency of native Hawaiians through the provision of land.

Other benefits provided by the HHCA include financial assistance through direct loans or loan guarantees for home construction, replacement, or repair, and for the development of farms and ranches; technical assistance to farmers and ranchers; and the operation of water systems"
*****************************************************************************
We have been on the waitlist for many years.  Recently, we have been processed to qualify for 5 specific homes on the Big Island of Hawaii.  During this process, no where did it state that being a resident of hawaii was a must to qualify for the Dept. of Hawaiian Home Lands Loan.  KNOWING that we are presently residing in Las Vegas, we were pre-qualified and asked to provide all sorts of information.

We were denied after being provided hope for several years.  We were denied because we are not residents of Hawaii.  My question is.....shouldn't the "ability to pay a loan, credit and references" be a deciding factor and NOT where we reside?  Isn't it NOT a common sense fact that people move OUT of Hawaii because the high cost of living and the options?  Now, if my ultimate goal was not to move back home and have a home that I own, why would I apply for this "opportunity"? We've only been here in Las Vegas over two years.  Out of our entire life, we are residents elsewhere for two years ONLY.  Does this NOT make sense to you?  Or is it just me. Where is this rule and why is it not told?  Don't you think that we would have stayed in Hawaii a little longer while being processed if we knew that MOVING away would disqualify you for a possibility of Hawaiian Homes?

So many Hawaiians give up on this because of several setbacks.  It's very sad.  Do you give up? Do you proceed?  Do you move back to Hawaii just because of this possibility?  Is it worth it?  I just don't know.  We miss Family so much and our children need that.  But, what is right and what is wrong?  What is more beneficial? Confused and feeling betrayed.....

Mornings...Spring Foward

Getting up is harder after this spring forward thing! Do we seriously still need this? I mean adjusting back and fourth may have been great long time ago but still now? Ugh!

Part 2 - WARNING: Sexual Content/Adult Content

7 Steps to  Protecting our Children from Sexual Abuse!

• Step 1: Learn the Facts
• Step 2: Minimize Opportunity
• Step 3: Talk About It
• Step 4: Stay Alert
• Step 5: Make a Plan
• Step 6: Act on Suspicions
• Step 7: Get Involved

WARNING: Sexual content / Adult content...Do not read if you are easily offended...

When I was younger, something very unfortunate happened to me.  It used to bother me when I was younger but I eventually got over it.  I get wigged out from time to time when I think of the intruder and how I was manipulated and taken advantaged of at a young age.  I've forgiven but I will NEVER trust anyone around that intruder, especially my babies.

It's been years but I am once again faced with a similar situation only it is my loved one.  I am completely devastated and it feels like I am re - living that terrible experience.  My experience was not as bad as my loved one but it pains me that someone I care for deeply has to go through the loneliness and the feeling of your personal space being violated.

The reason I vent about this is not only for continued healing but for awareness.  It is NOT OK to sweep sexual violations under the rug.  It doesn't matter how "old school" you may be, it is NEVER going to be OK to look the other way. If you feel that something is wrong with your children or someone you may love, chances are, SOMETHING IS WRONG.  You don't pretend like nothing is.  God's warning for us is our gut feelings.  It's not there for nothing!  Do what's right and protect those you love. 

 I don't give a crap about what anyone may say about my venting on this subject and the fact is, it feels GOOD to share. No one will ever be able to understand the feeling of being violated unless them themselves have been a victim too.

 Awareness starts with knowledge. Here's some hurtful statistics for you.....

* 1 in 4 girls will be sexually abused by the age of 18 years old.

* There are more than 39 million survivors of sexual abuse in America.

* More than 60% of pregnant teens have been sexually abused.

* More than 90% of sexually abused children know their predator.  It is someone they love or cared.

* 20% of sexually abused are under age 8.

* MOST NEVER TELL

www.d2l.org

Napuaism......"No make sense" ramblings of a girl with silent issues LOL!

I have a deep desire to experience more, give more and receive more. It can't be denied and I think that that's one of my struggles.

Responsibilities are first and foremost number one in my life.  I go to work everyday knowing that it is a MUST to make a living and provide. I get up motivated by responsibility.  I try to choose the best decisions based on a possible positive outcome.  I choose to continue certain things because it will assist in accomplishing certain goals in my life. If I am not responsible, those I love will suffer. I absolutely cannot fail in this area.

The question is, what is my responsibility to myself?  What do I need to be emotionally healthy?  Will focusing on others truly pay off in the future?  So far it works I am happy to say. But....Why is there still an emptiness?

 The most scariest part of it all is, I live a blessed life.  I have the most amazing husband anyone could ever have.  If he was PERFECT, he would not exist but pretty close to it.  He is special to me and I value our lives together. The emptiness I feel is in NO WAY a form of ungratefulness!

 My children are my blessings too.  Who could not be content after this?  All of my decisions are based on what will benefit those 4 beautiful faces.

So....to balance responsibility, wanting MORE, giving more and being content, what do you focus on first?  God, Spouse, Children, Family and everything else is secondary....OK I get it.  Why does it still feel like something is missing? I have all that I could ask for in LOVE.  I'm not rich but obviously it's not the first priority in MY life.  I have wonderful family and friends, new and old.  I have two great jobs which I appreciate.  I've accomplished some things I've wanted to do and will eventually accomplish more. NO DAMN CLUE yet...

I guess the best answer at the present time is that TIME will tell.  Time will reveal ALL.  The best I can do is just continue to pray HARD for clarity.  Try to make smart decisions and steer away from DUMB and possibly costly mistakes.  Embrace life as it IS, accept things I cannot change and hope/pray that life will go as GOD plans.  I am asking for forgiveness for my wrong doings, any good intent portrayed in the wrong way and wisdom of words. That is absolutely needed :-)

Rambling.  It's SO MUCH BETTER than drinking at a bar and listening to opinions. The opinion and advice that matters most comes from God above who is with you through it all .  He is the same today, tomorrow and forever.

Now what?  Getting down on my knees, folding my arms and praying. I'm praying a different prayer.  The same old crap gets old in his ears, I'm sure.  Making it new and real today!

It could be worst when...

I made a mental note today each time I saw a scene in front me and thought, My life is pretty good.  It could be worst!

It could be worst if...
I was a HOT mess, sitting on a chair and my butt crack was showing.  Not only that but a piece of toilet paper was left hanging out of my jeans. 

It could be worst if...
I forgot my room number, my friends left me and I ended up being in the wrong hotel after yelling at nice lady who tried to help me figure it out.

It could be worst if...
In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, I decided it would be cool to wear florescent green long johns in Las Vegas, there was a hole near my butt and my friends didn't tell me but teased me behind my back.

It could be worst if...
I was talking crap about my wife and she was listening the whole time AND she never added me to the room so therefore I couldn't get into the room, let alone, get a key because I was not registered. Ended up being on her SHIT list big time.

It could be worst if...
I won $45,000 on a slot machine and didn't have my I.D. on me to claim it.

It could be worst if...
I thought I lost my ID, caused a big scene, and my ID was in my shirt pocket the whole time.

Life really isn't that bad and I count my blessings everyday!  Life is crazy but God blesses us in many ways.  We just have to open our eyes, see it and embrace it.

Just when you think...

Just when you think it's about to become warm and you pull out the bathing suit, you have to pull out the jacket! Dang it's nippy and windy! Triply dang weather!

Two bakers...

Tutu and Tale'a are in a baking mood and I don't mind :-)

My Dinner....

I have the best husband! Dinners are awesome but tonight was my fave! Fish, salad and green beans :-) Lorrin is the shizzzznit!

I don't know what it is...but something is going on.  I can't quite pin point it but it's SOMETHING.

Proud Mommy and Daddy!

Great Job kids!

Feelin refreshed...

I was able to listen to some theta meditation for about an hour last night and i think that's the reason why I feel more revived this morning! I don't feel the slump feel as I did these past couple days! That's awesome! Thanks to my friend Mel and her good advice and counsel, I have a great collection!

Today will probably be busy but it just makes the day go by faster :-) The normal allergies in the morning in Las Vegas is in full flow but that's just how it is.

Las tonight we were Able to have a family home evening. It was such a good thing and Lorrin did a great job preparing! Hoping this will continue so that it makes our family stronger.

Praying for guidance, strength and clarity this morning. Waiting for clear skies but still feeling appreciative for all that I've been given. I love you Lorrin, the babies and my Ohana and friends.

Honor Roll!

All three kids got Honor Roll! Our Tainoa is a work in progress but he's made progress in many areas! I love you kids!

Mother Nature is a trip!

It's pool season in Las Vegas! The sucky part it....Mother Nature is deciding to go backdown to 55 degrees Sunday! Don't put those sweaters away yet!!! Lol!

Our issues are so small compared to others...

Sometimes it makes me feel better to concentrate on others verses focusing on my own trials and tribulations. God blesses us with learning situations that help us to understand and be there for others. Makes you realize that your issue is small and minor when you hear what they are going through. Blessed and giving thanks and praise to God!

Should I or Should I not...

I really don't like this "held back" issue. The sickening part is that I chose it. Why do I keep choosing this option while learning opportunities pass me by? Torn and I dislike it!

Monday Monday...

I woke up, as normal nowadays, feeling like not doing crap. I've lost interest in a lot of things and am wondering why. Looking for purpose today and hoping I get out of this junky hole I'm in. Wishing I could stay in my bed, cuddle with my love and wake up to kids sneaking in my room to wake me up :-) love my Ohana. I will refocus...

2 of 4 Babies

They drive me crazy but I love them to death!

Acknowledgement....

Did you ever wonder why people don't look at their servers, in the restaurant, in the eye?  We should all acknowledge a fellow human being at all times.  Not only is it the right thing to do but it adds quality to your life as well.  Random acts of kindness make me feel good, even if it's a simple smile and hello :-)

Acknowledgement.  That's what we all want and desire at some point of our lives, personally and professionally!

The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas!

The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas! I love my job here! If you haven't stopped by, you MUST!

Blessed be?

Last night I was filled with anxiety and confusion. It hurt to force myself to sleep but I did it so I could wake up new! God Blessed me another day above ground!

So now that I'm up and going through life's motions, I again ask myself...Now What? What happens next? What will come of thee in the next days, weeks, months or years? Will I truly fulfill Gods want for me? Will I be the best that I can be or will I just get by with what was given to me?

Life's purpose is so vague to me right now. Looking for purpose as we speak!